“Now or never ‘To be or not to be!'”—Oblomov Aaron raised himself from his chair a little, but failing to find his slippers with his feet at once, sat down again.”
-Ivan Goncharov
Eeeeek Aaaaahk
Eeeekkkk eee eeeeehhhkk?
Aaaaakkk aaark eekkk arrrr, aakkkkkkkk ek ek ek. Eeeeeekkk eekkk.
Eeeehhhhh eeeehhh ehhh eeeeeekkk
All The Ginger Biscuits (Give Me My Biscuit)
All the ginger biscuits
(All the ginger biscuits)
All the ginger biscuits
(All the ginger biscuits)
All the ginger biscuits
(All the ginger biscuits)
All the ginger biscuits
Hold your hobnobs up.
Up in the club, with my blue mug,
Waiting for my serving of tea.
I decided to dunk, but my biscuit sunk,
Right to the bottom of my damn tea.
A chocolate chip, should not be dipped
But there were no digestives.
I hold my tears, as my biggest fears
Is soggy biscuit in my tea.
‘Cos if you liked it should have given me some biscuits
If you liked it should have given me some biscuits
Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
‘Cos if you liked it should have given me some biscuits
If you liked it should have given me some biscuits
I got crumbs on my lips, about to nip
To my local for some custard creams.
The insides so soft, it’s that I scoffed
Good God I love custard creams.
They say it’s addiction, did I mention?
That I love lots of biscuits.
And as you learnt, its biscuits I yearn
No you cannot share them with me.
‘Cos if you liked it should have given me some biscuits
If you liked it should have given me some biscuits
Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
‘Cos if you liked it should have given me some biscuits
If you liked it should have given me some biscuits
If for some reason you’re still reading then feel free to finish the rest of the song as I’m going now. I’ve got no biscuits.
Just kiss it!
Please little lizard, give him a kiss,
That why you have lipstick, to make you a miss.
If you don’t do this thing that I ask,
This one tiny insignificant task,
I swear that you’ll get on my bad side,
And I’ll do it I swear, I’ll make you his bride.
Kiss him little lizard, do as I say,
You’re not getting away any other way.
So just do what you’re told,
And kiss Ronald McDonald.
My port, mine!
The ports on offer in the shop next door,
It’s Taylor’s Reserve, the one I adore.
As soon as it’s open I’m going down to that store
To fill up my basket with 10 bottles more.
Why’s it so cheap, I feel like I’m stealing,
It can’t be true, some dodgy dealing?
But after a bottle, won’t be guilt that I’m feeling
As I’ll be in town on my hands and knees squealing.
So come on Co-Op, you know it’s not fair,
Surely you’ve seen me, you must be aware.
Or maybe that’s why, I’m trapped in your snare
Take off this damn deal so I can stay in my lair.
It’s my day off and now half past two,
And I’m back once again shopping with you,
You sly little devil, I’m sure that you knew
I’m attached to Co-Op like I’m covered in glue.
So Co-Op take it away please,
Make a new deal on some Mexican cheese,
Or one of those meals you take home and freeze.
I’m begging you Co-Op, I’m down on my knees.
With you, falling in love, I am. Hmmm!
Oh Yoda, with your skin so green,
I’ve been in love with you, since I was a teen,
When I turned on TV and you enlightened my screen.
Say you love me, please don’t be mean.
You’re a little bit fat,
But I’m ok with that.
Your hairs are sparse and grey,
But with them each day I’ll play.
On each foot you’ve only three toes,
But, honestly Yoda, that’s the least of our woes.
You’re a little too into the force,
But I swear that’ll never be cause for divorce.
We’re two different creatures,
But I love all of your features.
Maybe they’ll all say that we’re just plain wrong,
That a love between us won’t last very long,
But I know the truth, we’ll be so strong,
And that, my little fat Yoda, is why I wrote this song.
Wear animals, not fur
Now that I’ve decided that my baldness was probably a bad idea I need to find a way to hide it…..
