Banana is a happy fruit

Banana is a happy fruit

Now, I’ve never witnessed a birth (and nor do I want to, so please don’t send any invitations) but I imagine this is would be a better idea than what actually happens. The whole female nurturing a fetus within her womb for 9 or 18 months (one is human, one is a dog, can never remember. Maybe it’s not even a dog? what happens every 9 months? Actually the human womb thing is 9 and something else happens every 18 months, so what am I thinking of!?) which is just gross.

Anyway, I’d much rather humans were kept captive in bananas for a period of 5-10 days depending on the size of the human. It would spare the whole afterbirth gunk stuff that somebody eventually has to eat or give to the poor. We wouldn’t even need to be grown on trees, just left in a big pile, so long as there’s some cleaner (non pants stealing cleaner) to flap away the fruit flies.

I recently learnt from work that bananas make people happy, so my banana birth idea would go someway to eliminate the miserable among us, like that bus driver who takes me to work at 7:52 each morning.

The only negative I can see is those long strands of banana skin that get left sometimes when you peel it would be stuck to you, other than that I think it’s a mildly solid idea?

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One response to “Banana is a happy fruit

  1. LOL having a stork deliver your future child may be even easier and less ‘gross’ than a banana birth or real childbirth =P! Hmm honest Abe? or am I seeing things? Okay I now see you tag for Abraham Lincoln =D…ah Gandhi and Mother Teresa…you packed quite a punch in your banana. I say you personally hand out bananas to all the bus riders on your next journey to work and even better and more convincing of world happiness if you’d dress up as a giant Chiquita Banana \(^o^)/. Hmm..but childbirth is a natural and beautiful thing albeit I’ve heard some horror of the pain involved for us….not you xD. Wait a minute…..

    I know!

    You too can feel the miracles of childbirth. Let’s see. Okay you may have to sit down for this. Ready.

    Okay.

    Now take your lower lip and gradually pull it over your head!!! And wallah! You now sort of know our pain during childbirth \(^o^)/!!!3

    Haha something tells me you should just stick with your banana, after all it’s the reason why girls get pregnant in the first place. A~ha your symbolism with the whole banana and birth thingy runs deeper than its surface I see =P.

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