All The Ginger Biscuits (Give Me My Biscuit)

beyonce

All the ginger biscuits
(All the ginger biscuits)
All the ginger biscuits
(All the ginger biscuits)
All the ginger biscuits
(All the ginger biscuits)
All the ginger biscuits
Hold your hobnobs up.

Up in the club, with my blue mug,
Waiting for my serving of tea.
I decided to dunk, but my biscuit sunk,
Right to the bottom of my damn tea.
A chocolate chip, should not be dipped
But there were no digestives.
I hold my tears, as my biggest fears
Is soggy biscuit in my tea.

‘Cos if you liked it should have given me some biscuits
If you liked it should have given me some biscuits
Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
‘Cos if you liked it should have given me some biscuits
If you liked it should have given me some biscuits

I got crumbs on my lips, about to nip
To my local for some custard creams.
The insides so soft, it’s that I scoffed
Good God I love custard creams.
They say it’s addiction, did I mention?
That I love lots of biscuits.
And as you learnt, its biscuits I yearn
No you cannot share them with me.

‘Cos if you liked it should have given me some biscuits
If you liked it should have given me some biscuits
Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
‘Cos if you liked it should have given me some biscuits
If you liked it should have given me some biscuits

If for some reason you’re still reading then feel free to finish the rest of the song as I’m going now. I’ve got no biscuits.

Just kiss it!

Lizard Just do it

Please little lizard, give him a kiss,
That why you have lipstick, to make you a miss.

If you don’t do this thing that I ask,
This one tiny insignificant task,

I swear that you’ll get on my bad side,
And I’ll do it I swear, I’ll┬ámake you his bride.

Kiss him little lizard, do as I say,
You’re not getting away any other way.

So just do what you’re told,
And kiss Ronald McDonald.

Looming Indifference

goatfinished (2)

Recent weeks have seen my interest fall and my apathy rise. While I searched for a little meaning to my life, I realised, I’m never going to become a Napoleon, a Da Vinci, I won’t write an epic poem, nor will any of my sculptures be erected in a city square, I won’t be rich, I won’t sing and dance before a panel of mindless arseholes while a slightly more retarded group of people clap and boo at the slightest little action, I won’t carve a potato into a chalice and fill it with melted cheddar to present to a table of 16th century aristocratic critics while they decide whether the subtle woody texture to the cheese is enough to see me into the next round or if its just a fucking potato full of cheese, I definitely won’t go into space, and I probably won’t even learn how to swim. I will just continue to cling to the same routine for the rest of my life, like a stubborn mountain goat, aimlessly blasting itself across the mountain side with all the grace and sophistication of a potato full of cheese, but, I guess, that, in it’s own way, is my little victory?